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Wit and Wisdom Updates Over the Last Month on CoachPounds.com! You're Welcome!

 

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Spring Has Sprung!!!

I hope that this recent upturn in the temperature means that winter is over and spring is here.  It has been a very cold soccer season and I am ready to put the polar grade jacket away and enjoy some sunshine.  I will now list my favorite things about spring, in no particular order:

  • Spring Break - oh...you mean...your profession doesn't have a week off in the middle of March for no apparent reason?  Sounds like a great job.
  • Baseball - only 29 days, 2 hours, and 24 minutes until opening day!
  • Grill - any food tastes better when there are grill marks on it.  Even cereal.
  • Warmth - usually I love the cold and hate to see it go, but there has been WAY too much of it this year and I am ready for warmer days.
  • Dog Walks - I don't enjoy these near as much as the dog, but I do some of my best thinking while walking the dog.
  • Spring Football - to get outside and get popping in preparation for next season is a great way to finish a school year.
  • School Ending - oh...you mean...your profession doesn't give you the 3 warmest months of the year off for no apparent reason?  Sounds like a great job.
  • Less Clothing - men of size, like me, don't like wearing a bunch of clothes to keep warm.  It makes us look like a bad cross between a bear and Santa Claus.
  • Green - now that we have a guy mow our yard, I love it when all the foliage comes back to life.
  • Free Time - I love coaching both football and soccer, but it will be nice to have a month of no after school practices.  Hopefully soccer season goes on for a little while longer though.  PLAYOFFS BABY!!!
  • March Madness - Finally it is time for some college basketball games that matter.  Plus, Rudy and I at a Buffalo Wild Wings somewhere watching the 1st round games.
  • Driving With The Windows Down - made much better now that I have power windows.
  • Rain - my favorite type of weather.  A dark, overcast day makes coffee taste even better.
     

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Sport or Just a Game - Winter Olympics Edition!!!

I believe that the outcome of a true sport has to be based on objective means and not subjective.  Of course, every sport is going to have subjective elements, but the outcome has to remain purely objective.  Like a finish line.  A distance.  A score not based on what judges think.  Hold on to your usual arguement of, "Well, I'd like to see you try ________ (insert the "game" that infuriates you the most on the not a sport list)."  My ability, or inability, to do such events are not the measuring stick for a sport or not.  That would mean eating your weight in chicken wings dipped in ranch would be a sport and most other athletic competitions would not be.  I am not saying that the people that participate in "games" are not extremely talented.  I just don't consider their pursuits to be "sports."  Here is my break down for the winter olympic games.

Sport

Alpine Skiing - Racing to the finish line against a clock.  It is hard to get more objective than that.

Biathalon - A race plus shooting a gun.  The only thing this sport is missing is a jump over a pit of aligators.

Bobsled - I was so happy that a Coach Pounds look a like could win a gold medal in a legitimate sport in the olympics.

Cross Country - This is a sport but you could more properly label this torture.

Hockey - I have not been this pumped up for a hockey game since the Stars won the Stanley Cup.  USA!  USA!  USA!

Luge - I would be concerned if I ever had a son that told me that he was interested in doubles luge.  Have you seen thisWho thinks of stuff like this?

Short Track - This sport is insane.  With that said, Apollo Ohno is a little too into himself.

Skeleton - Thankfully there is not a doubles version of this sport.

Snowboard Racing - It's a race, of course it is a sport.  I especially like the Snowboard X where throwing elbows may not be allowed, but they are definately in play.

Speed Skating - Another sport that looks like torture to me.  You are basically in a squat position the entire time.  No thanks.

Game

Curling - This is only a biggie sized game of shuffleboard that is the official game of drunk people.  Not a sport.

Figure Skating - I know that this will make the frau very upset, but you only need to look to the 2002 Games to see why judges can make this a popularity contest, not a sport.

Freestyle Skiing - Very cool to watch and quite exciting, but not a sport.  Based on judging and that is not objective.

Moguls - It looks like it is just a race, but then there are 2 jumps and the way that you race is judged more heavily than the speed you finish.  I don't get it.

Nordic Combined - Not a sport because the jumping is judged.  I don't understand this.  Should the jumping just be the person who sticks the landing with the longest jump?  What am I missing here?

Ski Jumping - Please see my explanation for Nordic Combined.

Halfpipe Snowboard - Please see my explanation for Freestyle Skiing.  I'm sorry Flying Tomato. 

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Texan Bucket List!!!

I went to my mailbox yesterday and got my monthly issue of Texas Monthly.  TM is a must read for me every month because it is so insightful to the Texas scenes of politics, food, music, and great things to do here in our Great State.  The title to this month's issue is "The Bucket List: 63 things all Texans should do before they die."  Of course this intrigues me so I checked out how well I have done in my 30 years as a Texan at getting the things on this list knocked out.  Here is how I did:

Of the 63 things that I, as a Texan, must do before I die, I have completed only 14.  Those 14 things are still quite an accomplishment including driving all the way across Texas in one trip, eat a kolache at the Czech Stop, drink a Dublin Dr. Pepper, see the Christmas lights on the Riverwalk in San Antonio, amongst others that I have accomplished.  There are a few on this list that are definately a must do to me like eating a rib eye at Perini Ranch, buy a pair of custom boots, explore Palo Duro Canyon, and climb Mt. Cristo Rey near El Paso.  The list did leave out a few things that I have done, that I feel every Texan needs to do before they die.  Here are my additions to this fantastic list:

64. Sit Around a Campfire at Night Without One City Light in Sight

65. "Accidentally" Fall Into the Riverwalk in San Antonio

66. Graduate from a Texas College

67. See a UT v. A&M Football Game at Both Venues

68. Eat at Whataburger and Taco Bueno in the Same Day

69. Read Lone Star by T.R. Fehrenbach

70. Visit the San Jacinto Monument

71. Visit the Alamo

72. Drive Through Hill Country With the Windows Down and the Radio Off

73. Eat at Salt Lick Barbeque in Dripping Springs

74. Eat at Babe's in Roanoke

75. Visit the Bob Bullock Museum in Austin

76. Hunt Deer in the Golden Triangle of Deer Hunting, Llano, Mason, and Gillespie Counties

77. Buy a Mexican Blanket at a Roadside Stand on the Mexico Border

78. Two Step at Billy Bob's

79. Eat at Joe T. Garcia's

80. See a Lyle Lovett Concert at Bass Performance Hall

81. Watch an Odessa Permian High School Football Game at Ratliff Stadium

82. See a Rodeo in Mesquite

83. Eat at Freebird's and the Dixie Chicken in the Same Day in College Station

84. Read Twelve Mighty Orphans and Junction Boys by Jim Dent

85. Take a Tour of the Nokona Factory

86. See the Bats Fly in Downtown Austin

87. Visit the Schlitterbahn in New Braunfels

88. Attend Germanfest in Muenster

89. Eat Blue Bell Ice Cream in Brenham

90. Eat Tortillas at the Alamo Cafe in San Antonio

91. Drink Ruta Maya Shade Grown Coffee Roasted in Austin

92. Smoke Your Own Brisket and Ribs

And a few things that I haven't done yet, like:

93. Cliff Dive at Possom Kingdom Lake

94. Go to Fiesta in San Antonio

95. Stay at the Menger Hotel in San Antonio

96. Attend the Terlingua Chili Cook Off

95. See a Baseball Game at LaGrave Field in Fort Worth

96. Swim in Barton Springs

97. Camp Out at Mustang Island

98. Get Your Picture Taken in a Bunch of Bluebonnets

99. Deep Sea Fishing in Port Aransas

100. Attend Willie Nelson's Fourth of July Picnic 

Friday, February 12, 2010

Yet Another Snow Day!!!

Sarah Palin is worse at cheating than my freshman are - VIDEO HERE

This might end up being my favorite song of all time - VIDEO HERE

This is not going to make Coach Durham very happy - STORY HERE

Very Interesting, LISD got a tough draw - STORY HERE

Great concert to watch if you got an hour and a half to kill - VIDEO HERE

Thanks to the greatness of Verizon FIOS, there is no need for me to have to deal with this - STORY HERE

No explanation needed - PICTURE HERE

Do we as humans need to reevaluate the way we celebrate - STORY HERE

No way you can watch the slow motion version of this and not react the way that they did, God Bless George Michael and his Sports Machine - VIDEO HERE

This laughter is unexplainable - VIDEO HERE

Just in case you missed them - VIDEOS HERE 

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Crazy Super Bowl Bets and My Picks!!!

Super Bowl Line (Colts -5) - Colts

Over/Under (57) - Under

1st Half Line (Colts -3) - Colts

1st Half Over/Under (28.5) - Under

Will Bret Favre play in week #1 of the 2010 Regular Season - Yes

Who will win a head to head sprint between Chris Johnson and Usain Bolt - Bolt

Coin Toss - Heads

Who will win the coin toss - Saints

Team to receive the opening kick off - Saints

Over/Under on # of kick off returns for both teams (not including touchbacks, ob, or fair catches - 9) - Under

Team to commit the first penalty (declined penalties do not count) - Saints

Team to score last in the first half - Colts

Will there be a safety - No

Will there be overtime - No

1st turnover of the game - Interception

Will either team score in every quarter? - No

Will the Saints ever have the lead at anytime during the 2nd half - Yes

Team to score first - Saints

Team to score last - Colts

Over/Under Jersey # of first player to score a touchdown (25.5) - Over

Over/Under on time for Carrie Underwood to sing the National Anthem (1 minute 42 seconds) - Under

Over/Under time on the clock when Gatorade is dumped on the winning coach (45 seconds) - Under

Over/Under on times that CBS shows Kim Kardashian during the game (2.5) - Over

Which total will be more, Kim Kardashian's measurements 34+26+39 or Reggie Bush's receiving yards + rushing yards - Kardashian

Will Pete Townshend smash a guitar on stage during the halftime show - Yes

Over/under on Pete Townshend windmills (5.5) - Over

Who will the MVP thank first in his speech - Teammates

What color will the Gatorade that is showered on the winning coach be - Clear